Am I really here?
Do I feel each day?
What do I feel?
Do I feel alone?
I have this emptiness in me; a hole that needs to be filled with some thing more than alcohol, depression and anxiety.
I must take this hole and fill it with surrender, the Love of God as I understand Him, and the love of others.
In my life’s past, I filled the hole by planting seeds of alcohol, depression and anxiety.
At the age of 13, I had my first real drunk and the seed was planted. It was a bad seed.
Seeds of depression and anxiety followed.
The tiny seeds germinated into over-sized, life-choking weeds.
After the initial planting, as I moved on with my life, I continued to fertilize the weeds of my life.
Adding more and more alcohol, depression, anxiety.
And the roots grew stronger and stronger each day.
I know have the strength to pull the bad weeds, roots and all.
It can be done with the help of my Higher Power and others.
I need to pull these weeds from their roots, feeling nearly impossible, but I know I must.
Surrender … in my heart I surrender each day. It is a true surrender and acceptance.