Awareness

My awareness is increasing each day as I move through this life of confusion.

Am I really here?

Do I feel each day?

What do I feel?

Do I feel alone?

Loved.

Cared for.

Understood.

I have this emptiness in me; a hole that needs to be filled with some thing more than alcohol, depression and anxiety.

I must take this hole and fill it with surrender, the Love of God as I understand Him, and the love of others.

In my life’s past, I filled the hole by planting seeds of alcohol, depression and anxiety.

At the age of 13, I had my first real drunk and the seed was planted.  It was a bad seed.

Seeds of depression and anxiety followed.

The tiny seeds germinated into over-sized, life-choking weeds.

After the initial planting, as I moved on with my life, I continued to fertilize the weeds of my life.

Adding more and more alcohol, depression, anxiety.

And the roots grew stronger and stronger each day.

I know have the strength to pull the bad weeds, roots and all.

It can be done with the help of my Higher Power and others. 

I need to pull these weeds from their roots, feeling nearly impossible, but I know I must.

Surrender … in my heart I surrender each day.  It is a true surrender and acceptance.

Dave Gaber

http://www.facebook.com/GaberDave

 

 

 

 

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