To Be Honest …

No more pretending to be what I am Not.

I am what I am.

I cannot change the past.  I am sorry for this.

I must move on from here and live a life of faith and understanding.

I am now a open book, come read with me if you would like.

I no longer have anything to hide from my Higher Power.

As we all move forward, I invite you to keep the faith for better lives within ourselves.

Honestly … I have never been very good at being honest … I lived a life of lies.

The worst was when I drank, which was most of my life.

I lied so much that I believed my own lies.  That was the world from which I lived.

Maybe a number of people live and find comfort in fantasy worlds, like I did.

The time has come for me to look at reality, and it scares the hell out of me.

I know I have to do this.

Now I get to do this.

I have talked in some of my other post that there is a path of recovery and journey to sobriety we all have to take.

And now I must take the long way to recovery.  The only way that works.

The easier and softer way does not work.

The easier, softer way is the “stick my toe in the water” until it gets uncomfortable, then drink, then go to a 12-step program or treatment, then get uncomfortable, then drink … on and on.

I need to give my whole to recovery, and I invite you to do the same, or we will not make it.

That means anything that will stop my sobriety, I will walk away from in 30 minutes or less to never look back or feel bad that I chose my sobriety over anything … or I will have nothing to give anyone.

My friend and blog co-creator Jim Hanson says, “Suffer like the rest of us,” which means there is no easy way out.

You can’t go to the gate and pay the coin man for relief or to get the fast track out of this disease.

You have to turn around, face your demons and walk through them to start your path to recovery.

Never underestimate the power of this disease and the inner demons, because they are real.  And you will need your Higher Power of Your Understanding to relieve you.

Yes it is one of the hardest things we must do to find peace and comfort in our lives.

But it will give you back your life … a much better life than you have ever experienced.

It’s worth it.

Will you walk with me into this new dimension of sobriety?

Dave Gaber

One Response to “To Be Honest …”

  1. Anonymous says:

    I’ve been following your blog and wanted you to know that I’m thinking of you and praying for your recovery. I know all too well about your pain and your struggles because my dad and my sister are alcoholics. My dad has been to treatment a couple of times and at 72 years old he still struggles. As for my sister, she is just like you … Has always been very successful in her work and it helped her relax at the end of the day. But unlike you she will never ever admit she is an alcoholic. She is so unhealthy and I can only pray for her to some day realize that alcohol is destroying her.

    I’m sharing this with you to let you know that just because we haven’t seen each other since high school does not mean that I don’t care about what happens to you. I’m rooting for you to find your inner strength to finally whip this beast that has been controlling your life. You deserve so much and God will guide you through this.

    I will continue to follow your journey and pray for you.

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